What Pottery Classes Taught Me About Managing Perfectionism & Burnout as a Black Millennial Woman
For high-achieving millennial women, play and rest often feel inaccessible because we measure everything by achievement. As a Chicago therapist specializing in perfectionism and burnout, my journey taking a pottery class revealed how learning detachment can regulate your nervous system and help you shift from surviving to thriving.
Being a high-achieving millennial is a fascinating experience. We grew up in the era of gifted and talented programs, scholastic book fairs, and the promise that higher education would be the way to “make it” in the world. We get out into said world to find housing crises, recessions, global pandemics, and layoffs.
Many of the clients I work with come to therapy because they’re exhausted and have not seemed to find that sense of fulfillment they were promised would come if they did all the right things. Furthermore, life feels so serious. Rest and play feel inaccessible. If I had a dollar for every time I heard a client say, “I wouldn’t even know what to do with downtime if I had it!”
I realized I’m not much different; I’m a millennial who got the degrees, started a practice as a licensed psychologist, and work to help others every day—but where does play and joy come in?
Enter: pottery classes. I signed up for my first ceramics lesson, determined to find outlets and engage in a hobby that was just mine. What I found was a bunch of life lessons on overcoming perfectionism and high-functioning burnout.
The Perfectionist Mindset: Assigning Achievement to Play
Picture it: I show up to my first class, ready to NAIL IT, because naturally I (like my clients) learned that achievement and accomplishment are the main goals.
The teacher starts a demonstration, and my eyes start to glaze over. “Oh my gosh! Am I….TERRIBLE at this?” I look around to see other people seeming to grasp the lesson and producing something that at least looks recognizable. I, on the other hand, made literally nothing. I ended the class muddy, disheveled, and discouraged.
The perfectionist in me wants you to know that I did eventually get a lot better and made some things I’m proud of, but that’s not the point. The point is that even when a task was meant to be playful and enjoyable, I managed to assign meaning to whether or not an achievement was waiting on the other side.
Over my time in the classes, I’ve started to allow myself to just play and make some stuff up. One of the teachers made a comment that stuck with me:
“Ceramics is an exercise in detachment.”
How often do we allow ourselves to try things we may enjoy without being attached to the outcome?
Perfectionism Therapy for High-Achieving Millennial Women of Color
This experience has really helped to inform my work with therapy clients in Chicago and online across PSYPACT states. I work specifically with high-achieving millennial women of color. The world has always told us that we always need to be strong, striving, and accomplished. I believe this is where some of the perfectionism and burnout start for many of us.
I want to help identify what life looks like when we focus more on thriving than surviving. While learning to calm and regulate the nervous system through tools like somatic therapy and EMDR is a big part of that, I believe another really important part is actually learning who you are when you’re not in service to others.
My therapy work helps women create a fulfilled life in which they feel connected to themselves and their loved ones in a way that is authentic and meaningful. If you’re reading this and this sounds like something you want for yourself, schedule a free 15-minute consultation with our Chicago therapy practice (or virtually across 40+ states), and let’s start creating your best life!
About the Author
Dr. LaTasha Miller is a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Protea Psychological Services, specializing in trauma, burnout, and culturally responsive care for BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ high-achieving adults. She offers individual therapy via telehealth in 40+ states and in-person sessions in Chicago, IL
Frequently Asked Questions About Therapy for Perfectionism
How does perfectionism contribute to burnout in millennial women?
Perfectionism keeps your nervous system in a constant state of hypervigilance or striving. When your sense of safety or worth is tied to achievement, rest feels dangerous, eventually leading to emotional and physical exhaustion (burnout).
Where do you offer therapy for high achievers and perfectionism?
Dr. LaTasha Miller provides therapy in-person at her River North, Chicago office and virtually via telehealth across over 40 PSYPACT participating states.